.:happily ever after ?? God my forever:.
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ChanTillE @ jAde Lim
twenty awaiting twenty-one
Registered ED Nurse
Taurus -12/05/87
Bright/cheery/God lover
Philosophy : Nothing is impossible ; Because I-M-POSSIBLE! =D
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Monday, July 31, 2006

oh alrites. and when evrything are over. now comes something really bad. i think im falling sick! how good?!?!? AWWW... ohs yarh and i have my gowning and gloving assessment to WORRY about. and im left wit 1 more proj to present on fri. well HAVEN READ UP on the research
tired. but i really got to PRAISE God despite the tiredness i still have strength and wisdom to continue doing all that is needed. esp today's assement. totally awesome! =)) faith comes by hearing and doing of God's word. muahahas
these few days has been really total hectic and horrendous piles of loadwork make me go crrazy. but God is alwaes good!! =)
ive got nothing to update at the moment.
ohs well im looking forward to Hongkong. and well im changing a hp 6280 it's time. =)
still 298 seems NOT VERY WORTH. ;/ hope mommy doesn't change her MIND. well....


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10:22 PM


Friday, July 28, 2006

i'm going to YELL. SHOUT.
i'm turning NUTS.CRAZY.LUNATIC.
i'm CRYING HARD.
i'm not FORGIVING MYSELF.

it's hard on me.
too soft to fall.
i'm fragile to be dealt with.
i'm DANGEROUS to PLAY with.
cause FIRE BURNS

and it's irreversible.

tell me what you want NOW!!
TELL ME TELL ME!
O Lord...............................................................................


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11:57 PM



oh no! the feeling is back again. this time worst. hope i could manage it better than the other time. ive been really busy with heaps of stuffs, like u know endless proj and then come my tests and then come failure. sucky rites. but still i mux Praise God. Give thanks give thanks!! =) for the joyful heart.
year 3 is worst then any years i had. siighs. and im finally gonna struggle thru to 26th aug before i fly off. ohs ugghs i've forgotten to take the hongkong trip booklet. gonna have to remind ling.
mon is pract and theory. WOW! gonna study 2 in 1. have to praise God for no time wastage. Gonna pray for strength and wisdom while studying.
lately, im quite into jazz. weird timing. hahas!! and i don't even knw what influenced me. taadaa``
now it's 1.20am and im still not gonna sleep, my hair is damn wet. ohs yarhs talking about hair. i suddenly hab this urge of doing something drastic to my hair. LIKE BIG CHANGE!! and nowadays ive been so TERRIBLY busy till i can't stay @ home. siighs. mommy,granny.
nwaes, i think i can start a slimming regime alrdys. hahs. im growing FAT AND FATTER. i dunno about the numerical kg. but well, at least thats what im feeling now! erhs feeling FAT. not a very gd thing heehees. maybe evryday eat meetakmak or sth. or maybe don't eat larhs can fast and pray bout LOADS OF STUFFS. =) and God is gonna answer it. esp healing for someone! =) and healing for myself. im internally sick.... ;p (jk) pls don't take it seriously when u see it. and dont' come asking me, oh man! how internally sick are u? BETTER NOT!
but seriously i need to pray for loads of stuffs. and i hope God is really gonna answer it.


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1:18 AM


Monday, July 24, 2006

i cried. ;) because im disappointed with myself and my expectations are too high. and i can't accept the fact of failing.
is this a lesson ought to be learn and grow from God. i know all things come in for a reason and no things are redudant...
Im loving the kids in church- and i really miss them. =) im growing to love kids and appreciate them and care for them in a special way and get God to bless them and fill the place with his presence. I want to be a Mary not a Martha. I want to get the strength from God alone.
Recently my church has started this marriage conference. Not bad, and well i think sometimes it doesn't mean that it's only applicable to married couples alone =) and im really getting great revelation from God, it had helped me alot about thinking about my future soulmate and prevent marriage breakage and even to the smallest detail like getting the right partner.
and i think this poem really makes me wanna cringe at how marriage is so sacred. and that mine would be like this too.
The poem "I Need you" by Jerry and Barbara Cook

I need you in my times of strength and in my weakness;
I need you when you hurt as much as when i hurt.
There is no longer the choice as to what we will share.
We will either share all of life or be fractured persons.
I didn't marry you out of need or to be needed
We were not driven by instincts or emptiness;
We made a choice of love.
But i think something supernatural happens at the point of marriage commitment
(or maybe it's actually natural).
A husband comes into existence;
a wife is born.
He is a whole man before and after,
but at a point of time he becomes a man who also is a husband;
That is ---a man who needs his wife.
She is a whole woman before and after.
But from now on she needs him.
She is herself
But now also part of a new unit.
Maybe this is what it means in saying,
"What God hath joined together."
Could it be He really does something special at "I Do"?
Something like His creation of a mother when a woman gives birth;
(something so real that neither can quite survive again without the other).
Joining together---in marriage---
two self sufficient beings into an independence so real
That when you hurt I hurt
(there's nothing I can do about it!).
Your despair is mine even if you don't tell me about it.
But when you do tell,the sharing is easier for me.
(To know why i hurt, no matter how frightening the cause, is easier than living with the theories that fear suggests.)
And you also can then share from my strength in that weakness.
If we are one
then perhaps you don't always
carry the antibodies
within youself
to fight every infection.
Some wounds are healed
by resoureces carried
in my part of our unit.
When part of body is endangered
all the rest gears to its defense.
Shouldn't that be true in a pair
so committed
they are called
one flesh?


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8:19 PM


Monday, July 17, 2006

Somewhere in this book, boy meets girl. This passage stands out.Let me quote it out.

Perhaps, after all romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; Perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; Perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; Perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.

Perhaps after all our worries and questions, we'll discover that all along God had the right thing at the right time for us. Perhaps His plan is more wonderful than anything we could create by ourselves----whether it comes with " pomp and blare," or quietly," like an old friend."
Perhaps...perhaps...we should entrust our questions of "How?" and "Who?" and "When?" into His tender care.


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1:24 AM


Friday, July 14, 2006

hahs! im back. yeeahs. finally bloggin on my own comp! nice feeling. but well ive lost the passion to blog. nothing much to summarise about what had happened recently. can't really remember but i hab to thank all my poly frens in my school who always seem to be there for me and always accompanying me. it's a blessing to have them around. and we started this game angel and mortal. we will get a mortal and have an angel to bless you too. it's always a double blessing to bless someone and also be bless in return. and i believe even if we doesn't play such a game. we're still treat one another very well just that it gives us a chance to know the other party better. love them loads.
this whole week has been a tedious week for me. going thru it is not as easy as you think. putting those unimportant stuffs aside is a skill that u need to accquire thru the long run. yarhs and i think i somehow managed thru. now im currently reading this book boy meets girl. ;p as if im seeing someone hahahas - who knows.. =)) i might be....lOLs!
ahars, and im quite addicted to this boardgame addiction, i went there somewhere on tues at prinsep st. with a few of my poly frens. oh yarhs before that i wanna thank God for the ministry that is given to me, tho i doubt that i have much more time. God is gonna prove me wrong. - really! i hope.
im just afraid i'll get burn out in the process. yarhs but well, i'll leave it to God. i just hab to serve him faithfully and then who knows he'll bestow me all the energy i need. he'll give me strength when im weak. be my feet when i can't move on. sounds familiar. ?? lols.
so much of all these. yarhs cut it short. i got in the playgroup ministry so it's not really like playgroup more of children church =) whees. so it means i hab more time playing wit kids. nice!! i love it! they must be real cute kids. kids are alwaes very adorable.-minus the crying and spoilt ones. all ARE gd. gonna blog the nxt time round ;p oh yarhs n well, im gonna take loads of pictures wit them. gonna love them LOADS!! heehees praise God!!
nwaes ive celebrated my fren's bdae at HV ystd! at his cafe settlers. ahars... it's somehow the same concept as the one at prinsep st. that's mind cafe tho.
both have their own strong points but i prefer to u know, support my fren. hahas!!
anyway to each convenience. yups! we're deciding to go there again my whole poly clique.
-sighs and im somehow caught in this endless project thingy. like im very very busy. well ilove busy compared to slacking. you know u slack n do nothing n then start having funny rubbish thoughts i rather not. so BUSY IS THE BEST. so i got myself so busy till i attain this incredible insomia. even how exhausted im for this whole day. i still blog like usual, be on net as usual, watch vcds as usual and practise on the piano despite how late isst. i still can't slp ;p till only 1am. cool rites?!? now u knw why im burn out. hahs!
i ask FOR IT!
mon to fri - sch days, in btws thurs - CG
sat - church
sun- ministry
and im BROKE!! very very absolutely BROKE! okas! and im deciding to go hongkong! fabulous and it falls on the shopping festival. im definitely not gonna miss this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY.!!
hahs! and i actually think this is kinda meaningful.
* your life is not owned by anyone, neither can u own anybody's life.
don't act as if the person is urs cas no individual is living for anyone; live for yourself. and for God's purpose. =))
take evrything a step slower,do not settle for a 2nd option just becas u can't reach the 1st option doesn't mean u hab to take a short cut. wait n God will allow u to acheive it.
for nothing is impossible. evrything is possible.


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11:04 PM


Tuesday, July 04, 2006

yups! the fact im blogging this post, is because im back in school. and trying to make full use of the resources here and blog now!
ive missed blogging about loads of my stuffs. and many many things happened. i can't finished it in a post. but i hope i summarize evry bit of my life so people are aware what im experiencing now. not that i need to shout out to evryone. but to people who really care about my life and don't even have the time to ask me " How are you" even if they do. we usually can't have long conversations that allows me to tell them my whole life.
life's been rather tedious and tiring. did i mention in my previous post too?? i believe. hahas- well attachments makes me crrazy and tired. does school life does the same to me too? narhs i doubt so. and ive missed the cheerful, bubbly Huishan. can you imagine someone who sulk alot and then doesn't take things more postive. and after today's pysch lesson. ive learnt something even when things doesn't seem BRIGHT or NICE ... your mindset must always be positive so thus your attitude and reaction will be GOOD so it's positive too. if your thinking is negative evrything will followsuit. too much of all these work.
ohs yarhs and i believe im gonna work very hard for year 3. trying hard to acheive more so at least when im out working as a registered nurse i don't regret and blame myself for not trying hard enough to study. study life is always better than working. and i really hope i could further my studies if allowed so. yups!
for now. im tired of relationships. tired of getting here n there stucked nowhere. would any girl want such a thing happening? i think nopes. yarhs. definitely. and i hate people who acted that they know evrything and then trying to be funny. absolutely irritating. definitely!
kkays did i summed up evry bit of my missing part of blog?
i think nopes. there's alot more to say. well let's hope i can finished it all in a jiffy
God knows evrything yups. human doesn't
and they assume and i hope not. Human minds are deceitful. Hard to explain, tough to solve.
i hope my life is simple even when there's once when i hoped it's more than that. anything more, makes it complicated. so i rather stay simple and happy. so i can seek back the previous Huishan who's lost in somewhere. back to school keeps me occupied. back to school makes me wanna study.back to school makes me happy.
nothing beats the life of being back to school.
nothing beats the life of having the past Huishan back.


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12:41 PM