it's been a tough ,tiresome attachment i had for my whole entire years in nyp. Now and here. i wanna start whinning if u can't tahan pls go off! ty! life hasn't been GREAT. but i know ive grown all mature, thru trials ive learnt alot. thru different situations. i knw wad i shld do. not sulk at it! but take it and understand the whole process in a more mature accepting way. I wouldn't be more paranoid then the past me, more defensive than the past me, more stubborn than the past me. more whinner than the past me. and more accepting than the past me! i know i've gained alot more then the ones i've lost in the past. All Praise to the Lord! i really hope attachment is gonna end soon. -as what shing says:" slow and steady win the race, Huishan" Huishan- is a ganchiong spider. - hyes quite true! i simply thks im really one of the ganchiongs! hahas- i shall change =)
10:17 PM
i know my walk with God has never been easy. or it'll never be easy till the day i arrived to heaven then it'll be all peace.- the life on earth it's like a marathon where i keep running n running but when im tired i'll jog but i'll never stop. maybe i'll reach a stage and i can't continue but i know i'll walk. at least i know im nearer to my destination. where i belong. trials and accusations arise, and it's the time when i hab to stand strong in faith, believe what im suppose to believe. stand firm and not fall. O God, thou art u? - When will i reach my final destination? im all tired, weared out. how can i continue? where trials arise, and when i couldn't find strength in myself. allow me to find it within your endless strength. How mighty you are? O Lord! Where men, come and evil start sinking in. the world is smudge with darkness. O God you're the light. That shines in the dark. Where else could i go except your dwelling place. When my tears rowed down unconditionally, when my heart hurts like hell. I wanna find peace in your presence. where your angels surround me and abound me in your protection. Lord! Tell me how could i continue without you once again. Where? O! Where?? Heal my heart. Dry my tears Lord. You're my jehova ralpha! When the whole world doesn't understands me. O Lord, you're the only one who totally understands me inside , out. You're the whisper inside my heart. Where i cry silently to you @ nite.
10:06 PM
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Lord, tell me what i did to deserve all things that happened today.-soobs..... This is the worst day in my entire life. and i would never wan to hab such things happening again. or i'll break down straight away, and go into depression mode. evrything now seems so meaningless and depressing. im sick and tired of work. and why must i always go into such situation!!?? WHYYS??! Lord pls strengthen me and put me thru these whole attachment. or i need is your convenant for me to hide when i need. Lord your grace pls shine upon me and protect me. all i need is you.
10:59 PM
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
im feeling butterflies in my stomach- and i don't thk im feeling very right now! today was a horrible day!! -i missed the train while i waited for 11 mins i fell asleep -my FREN saw it. and was giggling inside while i was outside sleeping. -well and the worst part i woke up exactly when the mrt door is CLOSING! -and gave a OH DAMNS! face- :/ very very horrendous!! so i knew i wouldn't be late neither would i be early enough to stroll in the ward. the next horrible thing happened- -i took the bus which i waited for awhile. -and then when finally i boarded, the sky started turning grey and it RAINED!! this is the MOST unpredicted thing that could happen... alrites, and i prayed hard someone actually would be kind enough to share the umbrella wit me. hoping that i wouldn't be all WET to start the early morn. this nice staff saw this pathetic girl rushing her way thru while crossin the road actually offered to share wit me. HOW NICE??!! :) -at least GOD IS good! hahas afterwhich im not late. and then im all TIRED for NO WORK!but i had to gain strength and start doing all the things. and i was so busy i practically dunno wad's the time. and some stuffs happened in the ward which i shall not go into details becas im NOT SUPPOSED TO. nwaes evrything is fine now. and im relieved. initally i almost went MAD. well, im those kind of person who falls into guiltyness easily when i tut i did something wrong. AND I USUALLY thk ALOT!! -that's very bad. -BUT ALL IS FINE -so i PRAISE GOD despite for all HORRIBLE things that happened i survived. -had diarrhea twice! and im feeling BETTER now! -so nomatter so wadeva. i mux still GIVE thanks to God for the STRENGTH that i had tdy!! for not being late despite that i missed the train. not falling sick despite that im walking in the rain TWICE!
9:20 PM
Monday, June 05, 2006
im rather bored.that's why im blogging now! haven been finding enough or sufficient time to blog about wad's happening evryday. seriously i thk there's nth that interesting yet. oh yups ive been posted to the 2nd busiest ward this is hell!! --scrreeeams but well God is gonna strengthen me and allow me to go thru these 3 more weeks before my 1 week break sets in!- O youth emerge just ended. it's been a really hectic week for me. even weekends are booked for church. and the time left for myself is sleeping. kinda pathetic i thk. and im gonna miss cg for upcoming 3 weeks. now im gonna fork out extra time to go cg and to unfamiliar cgs I DON'T LIKE!!- don't don't like!... nowadays it's been rather smooth-sailing for me. im not like before. the one who worries too much tho i still m worrying. still being paranoid. NOT SO MUCH-that's really cool about it. and ive learnt alot moree.. and i hope it's gonna be slow n steady so i could catch my breath and give it a good shot =) Thanks Lord for the grace u've set upon me! The love you've given me. Im giving all of me for the exchange for all of you. When my world is in darkness, you took my hand, night turn into day! I praise you! For you are the Almighty one. The holy And deserving one.-Jesus Christ, My saviour. yawwns- im feeling slpy! yells--- TMR'S MORN SHIFT! ohs yarhs ive forgotten VEGETABLE ORCHESTRA. anyone?? anyone?? ;p
10:50 PM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Today's experience in OT was incredible amazingly indescribable- i simply love it!! The challenges you face inside. Even if im just standing and observing i feel that the tense atmosphere was there. greatness. im falling head over heels for it. and if my third year attachment to OT comes. im gonna be so excited again!! well, today's ceasarean was good!! all i could say that the prof was good. the twins were saved and evrything went totally well. just abit of switching angles here n there. =) im not the only student there, but im the only nursing student inside. sooo COOL! God bless me!! we drew lots and i got the YES! so i'm allowed to enter the OT! well, and it's like the nxt moment the time reaches i gotta rush to OT wit my SN, and without explaining well, i just find myself changing into scrub suit damn nice i thk! haahs- i love lookin @ myself wearing the scrub suit. i look lk some pass out SN! i wanted to take a pix! but siighs!! my phone can't! so aiiyas blame on my louusy idiotic phone!! okas so i rushed in and took a long observation @ the OT for around 1 and a 1/2 hr of operation and finally all was done! =) I heaved a sigh of relief not becas it was finally done, but becas the babies was out alrdys!! both so cute n lovely!! phoenix pair. if i got the spelling right. yups!! 1 ger 1 boy twins!! =) i almost cried wen i see how the mom gave birth to her baby. normal delivery! all in all it was really heart-warming and sastifying somehow to be a midwivery. - ( i wouldn't be 1 tho) i still love to participate in OT instead. and i really learnt alot of stuffs tdy! all thanks to nice peeps in the ward and nice prof ;p
