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ChanTillE @ jAde Lim
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Sunday, October 31, 2004

counting down to 27hrs...
Additional 2 1/2 hrs..
My biology paper will end....

soooob.....or shld i shout out the word ' V.I.C.T.O.R.Y' !
i survived the studyin hrs.
And now it's 5am...

usually i can't stand the latee hours of studyin
unless....., i consume COFFEE!!
but i hateee to do that.
Cuz it makes me darn awake.

The caffine is actively working.
Which makes my brain darn alert.
n now i hab to bear the consequences...
i dunnoe how long b4 i can fall asleep.

sux manz. i hatee bio!
Studyin somee bones, tissues and muscle that i cannot even visualize.
Don't expect me to cut myself into 1/2 n den i can see wad's inside.
Tt's kinda ridiculous.
Don't really understand y nurses hab to study bio.

gRrr....though i lurvee nursing, i jux hatee de part about havin to study BIO!

anyway ystd i went to orchard n bought the chicken soup for nurses.!!
woah..grt book manz!
i lurvee it!

It's realli sooo inspiring!
so touchin
sooo w.o.n.d.e.r f.u.l!

I can't stop imagine bout wad i'll do aft my Exams.
i wanna do lotsa of stuffs...
and moree imptly i can't wait to catch up with my secondary sch frens..
chill out!

yAWwwnnZz.....



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4:53 AM


Thursday, October 28, 2004

The air is crisp and coold. I woke up at 6.30am just because i wanted to revise thru my socio! I went back to sleep again, because ystd i slept damn late. Finally, i decided to pull myself out of my comfortable bed. awww shucks! I betta revise! So i started draggin myself to the toilet.blah blah blah. K fast forward! I reached the library n started revising thru. Tut my frens wuld be accompanying me and i've been waiting fer them since 9am. Suddenly, i saw chong quan walkin , still hearing his songs. I was about to shout his namee n realise that's likee so lamee, harLow...i m in the library alrite? And i bet he wun be able to hear . So i called him! We chat bout somee stuffs n finally settled down on studying. Both of us seems so relax n ain't showing any signs of anxiety. Mayb becuz it's either we're tooo damn fuggin confident we're pass or either we jux wanna admit to our fate that we'll gonna takee sub papers.
HAHA but i dun the 2nd pt is fer me. Cause i've been studyin so hard. so i confident i'll PASS! ok.... then came along Hueiping. So every1 was really busy gettin all the notes n stuffs right b4 we r goin to head towards the exam hall. We din even realise it's likee 12.10??!??
Gosh! We took our time n walk to the sports hall. On the way, i saw ck. But i dun feel likee sayin HI! anyway, i bet he din even saw me. k forget it! So when we reach i'm so kinda shock tat every1 is already settled inside, reading their papers. aRRrgghh...k forget it. The worst part of the wholee story ish tat i'm seated right............in front. So i hab to snaked my way thru the crowd. K i bet no one kairee too..They are jux too busy reading their qns.~ My heart thump faster then usual! Maybe becuz of the shock that i can't get overee...the fact that i m lateee.! eeeKS! The qns r kinda easy. MCqs esp. lOL...but some r either tooo tricky r jux plain difficult! Wherease fer that idiotic deviance qns. I actualli forget tat fuggin definition. WaD!! k but i thk i manged to write something on it. As fer the Gemeinschaft theories of tonnies, I thk i can get full marks for both 5 marks qns n added up together tt'll be lk 10 ? hmmp hopee it's a give away mark fer me. During one of the revision lesson, i did actually clarified bout this theory! Soo i m damnn fuggin suree i'll get it correct. But i'm nt too suree if it's gonna be likee full marks?!? So much fer my happy ending.......study fer upcomin bio n nursing science. stREeesss.....up bout evry thing......................uGggHhhGGhhH......i'm jux overeacting!
6 rules to be happy
(1)Free your heart from hate
(2)Free your mind from worries
(3)Live simply
(4)Expect less
(5)Give moree
(6) n alwaess smile no matter wad happens........... cuz u wun know who's fallin in lurvee wit ur smile.....=)


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8:06 PM


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

1st exam in NYP n that's gotta be Nursing science 1b. I'm always not attentive in class neither m i alert in my tutorial class.I m supposed to be hearing my tutorial teacher if i'm nt intending to hear my lect. But i made a choice n hear none of their teachings. That's likee soooooo STUPID of me...thk bout it, i've been too playful lor. Now have to rush thru all the notes n study likee hell. It's hell lor. if i hear my lects, if i hear my tutorial, if i doneee my caree plan well durin my attachment . Nth of all these stuffs wuld happened. N there wun be any if I....! SOOO i got to makee an extra effort to cover up all the time wasted , playin. STudy!! I can blamee no one but myself. Now after tis nursing sci paper. i m so damn worried bout the nxt major module that's comin, Bio! dun u all thk tt bio is sucha a tough paper ?? betta start early...hopeee 4 days wuld be enuff?? but...but .....but wad bout my nursing sci 1a? gosh.....i din even start reading it.! Now i m panicking.....hur` succha a slacker. tt's my retribution...brwww...!! actualli i feeling damn stressful lor! When i reach home, i was deciding if i shld go fer a swim to destress myself, soak into the water n thk of nothing!! but ........but the weather disallowed me to go fer a swim! it actualli rained! wad a disappointment!
so I m commenting bout todae's paper. Nursing sci 1b. haAaa...kinda easy le compared to those past yr papers i've donee...So it's gotta be a gd news. It's either a definite pass or a mere luck of B! I dun expect gettin distinction when i actualli forget bout the benefits of nursing process. I am damn fuggin suree i hab studied that idiot topic.! N it cost me 6 goneee marks! ...gRrr....mayb i'll gain 1 or 2 marks?? lol...pathetic.! awww..slackin nw, din wanna start revising back my socio. m i soo suree i'll pass? or do i even wan to get a better grade? An A??!? HAHA ...tt's likee so impossible fer me lor..but i-m-possible....! heee...contradicting rite? Aiya i dun expect high grades lor. I've been studyin n studyin n nt understanding clearly bout wad i m studyin?!? So it's likee gone case le. either a pass....or a .....oOPsie i shan't mention tat wordie. Prayy...!! Now kinda slpy liaoo....betta slp....hmmp i m an internet addict! y can't i JUX STOP COMING IN! it's exams period lor. even if i wanna slack i shld be slping le.....u see nw wad time....it's likee 12.11am! *arrr bish!* wakee up lor!.....studies r moree impt. shut dat damn idiot comp !...sobbb i can't lar! cuz i m addict mah haaa....aRrggHhh byEee.....


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11:57 PM


Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Love is to share life together ...
Making special plans for the two of you,
To work hand in hand with smile,
As you make your dreams all come true.

Love is to bind two hearts that will shine bright as one ...
From midnight sun to the early morning glory,
To bring light and inspiration into your way ...
Making life in perfect harmony.

Love is to lend a hand and encourage ...
With heartfelt, sincere words of praise,
To take time to share, listen and care ...
In the most tender and affectionate ways.

Love is to have someone so special ...
Of whom you trust and depend,
To be with you through the years, in laughter and tears ...
As a partner, a companion, lover and friend.

Love is to make wonderful memories ...
Of moments you're gonna love to recall,
For all of the good things that life can bring ...
Yes, it's Love that is the greatest of all.

May all of us learn the value of love ...
To make life free from sorrow,
Most of all, may we learn to love in the real essence ...
To treasure and hold what we have today ... till "tomorrow."


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1:34 AM


Sunday, October 24, 2004

aWww..i can't go fer roxy's party....Grrr...sux! wadeVa... hab tis jay chou concert on the same day. Today, i actualli played my fav. sport netball. I had lotsa of fun with my previous netballers. Bought an adidas shirt fer jux 15 bucks, discounted price, not bad ritee??
Went hm n felt damn slpy, but i din try to slack at all, Instead i started printing my e-learning slides. gRrr.. i'm kinda disappointed dat i nv fully used my timee fer studyin todaze. mayb becuz of the continous studyin fer de past few days. I've decided to slack abit!
geee....contacted pp fer rock climbing activities but not alot of pp r enthu in r.c . Is rock climbing sooo tough ? hahaha i better try myself tml! lOl..tml goin to see the walls. hopee it'll be fun. n yeaa.. i gonna change my color of braces. any1 suggest wad color shld i change? anyway i suppose i m changing to p i n k!
I m soooooooo e x c i t e d o v e r t h e u p c o m i n g c a m p !! whahahaha....den i can seee all my freens. soo long nv get to chat wit dem liao.....yAhhooo......oOopssiee...beTter stUdy liAaooz... sEe ya gUys...mISs yaa..sooo muCCiee.. (=



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10:41 PM



toDAzee i went to wdls civic library.
Hoping there'll be a placee fer mee to study.
Unfortunately, there's none!
oHhh..! i wasted my time takin 187 to wdls... placing some hopee dat some1 will be movin away, i sat at de carpeted floor wit de sofa as my table.
Aft awhile, my legs became numb!
sh~t.!k wadevA!n i supposed no one is going to let their table off....!
dey sat dere fer damn fuggin long.
n left their stuffs dere on de table. wen dey movee to somewhere. sicko!
wad a library sooo lil table. mux complain!
hahahah....aRrrggh mayb becuz todaze's a sat!
but...it's a sat le i tut every1 wud be chillin out. den likee i m de onli 1 studyin?!??
haha..kk enuff of my crappiness...!
ugghh...so i went to bought somee foodie. n took a cab straight homee cuz i dun wanna w-a-s-t-e my time!! heee....
When i reached my hse, i changed into my slackers clothes n headed to my clubhse de study area....
hAaa..i shld hab studied dere! Although there's bags....dere ain't much pp inside. yaHhhoo....!!
i sat dere n mug into my world of books...starting i can't realli concentrate but aft tat....i'm totally obsessed wit studyin. i studied till 9pm ?!?!?
Den i returned homee... mayb u all tut i started lateee.. tt's y i studied till likee 9 , no big deal? aWww haha i started likee 2pm ?
sooo it's likee 7 hrs of studyin again ?? kOOlz maN neva in my whole lifee ive studied sooo hard...excEpt my fer my O's !!! haahaa.....


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1:35 AM


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

i dunno wad's wit mee.. wad's my life cmin to. n i suppose my life's in a mess. everything is clad and tangled up together. wadeva relating to me r jux in A MESS. my studies, blah blah blah.. life suppose to be fun . but mine ish more kinda of terrible. t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e!
oOOps....hIYyaa... i shan't be thking too much. hab been thking bout' some stuffs fer a longg longg time. n i hopee it wun distract me further. anymore.. tis thingy had been stallin in my mind fer like quite somee time . n it's likee rottin inside. i betta get rid of it. n stop thking. it's nt doin me any gd. i suppose i jux nd to take a step at a time. n see hw it goes. hopefully it isn't wad i've alwaes tut. easier said den done. hab been alwaes tryin to tell myself to ditch away tat icky feeling tat makes me go headwired.. though it makes me happi fer sometime, but aft awhile de sadness comes in again. so it's likee a routine everyday it's happening. so i'm sick n tired of it. tired n sick of it. duhx isn't it de same.?!?sick n tired n tired n sick. so it means tat..no matter hw hard i try, i'll still hab tis feeling stayin inside of me. i hopee dat i possess some kind of witchcraft. so i can alwaes understand wad's every1 thking bout' n i wun be left guessin wad dey're thkin n sayin. it sux ! i hab to read deir mind n act as if i knw everything but in fact. i dunno!! n ya..if i eva knw wad pp r thkin mayb it make things easier fer me. i can jux leave wen dey dun wanna see me, stay wen dey wans me to be dere. n do wad dey thk ish gd. n dun do things dat dey thk is bad. sEe i get so much privelege in all these stuffs. n soon i'll be a likable person. y mux i try sooo hard to be a lovable person. y can't i be myself?!? m i tryin too hard ??i jux had enuff of every bit of things. dat gather up n become a virus dat attacks me. onee day if i shan't hab de rite ans i'll jux leave silently. (nt dying lar)


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10:30 PM


Tuesday, October 19, 2004

*StreSsed up - hafta very fruitful dae. i actualli studied finish 2 chaps of my sociology haa....is quite a grt acheivement fer me.*applause! anyway i din expect tat' i can stand coopin myself in the library fer 7 hrs ?? had be muggin on books n gettin de stress liao....nw den i realise tat i wun be havin enuff time fer all my modules so i hafta hurry abit.n i suppose if any1 who wanna find me haa...library wuld be a placee u shld be able to find me dere.lol. cuz it's exams week!! gee...got quite distracted by lotsa of stuffies. better be more discipline.`hurhur`or elseeee..i gotta facee de consequences of sub papers. heard it isn't easier den de one u took fer exams. so i thk sub paper wun werk fer me. oOPs..gEee hiya...anyway todaze i saw de guy who stay 1 floor away frm me. he actuali studied in nyp yAhoooo...hahaa...finally gt some1 to accompany me to sch.nw nxt step is to befriend him. gt shooo shy towards guys. oOPie..m i shy ?? ugGhh...yuPie i m !! anyway supposedly i hab moree chances of seeing him. anyway he knws my doggie so i suppose he knws me? cuz i m de owner of snoopy, my doggie haaa...wadeva. i'm nt de one who walks my dog also.lol! =) *smIleees...!~!


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9:58 PM


Monday, October 18, 2004

woah. todaze ish great. *giggles lalala dunno y haa..hmmp jux great bah. no special reasons. wanna buy tis book sciology but i can't get it.cz it's out of stock.gosh! hAaa... izzt becuz de exam is comin n every1 is rushin fer de book ? woahh all so last min. hopee i'll get it quick so i can study sociology in detailed. den i can see --rainbow-- hee... but kinda in dis confusion mood. haha makee me so blur until i almost fall frm the door of lrt. de story goes liddat. i was feelin trired n lean against tis door of lrt. n fall semi asleep. budden,wen de nxt stop reach, de door opened n i almost lose my balance. den i quickly wake up n turn ard. de door i m leaning against is de door which is gonna open fer all stops.woah..lucky i din fall or else i'll be a luffin stock fer every1 .*blur hAa...i quickly act as nth happen n stand A-W-A-Y frm dat door. reached hm n feel kinda of slpy but can't fall asleep. bwaahaha..n yeaa...i've saved some1 frm failing one module.hEee...sooo isn't it great ? tt person actualli manged to do de test ? woah...hahAa..enuff of thanx yea?*blushin


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10:47 PM



hmmp wad so u've seen my blog. i bet u're alwaes comin in to see wad's my lastest update. n smile at my saddest stuffs. but i've been alwaes tryin to write my happiest stuff. unlike u living in a life so miserable n sad! gif u my best shot ? c'mon i wun do dat..since u're sooo pathetic. y mux i do moreee things to make ur life miserable ? u're suffering alreadly. stop all ur fuggin shit n stop sayin living lifee wit us is horrible n shitty.i knw wad u mean . u're alwaes makin ur lifee so miserable. tt's kinda saddist. u can go on be an actress in ur life.wit split personality , aren't u tired ?nw i pity u . cz u're living in a lifee a shadow of ure childishness..come out of it manx. n stop being a poser. had enuff of ur attackin stuffs. stop mentioning those stuffs n . ps: reflect on wad u did. ty u'll be a more mature person wen time to come. den u knw wad r u livin fer. ;)


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10:34 PM


Saturday, October 16, 2004

uGgghh...i actualli found her blog..tat's kind of a BIG secret to knw bout it..hMPh..wadEva was there too..so secretive. found a session tat she wrote by us likeee her met 3 gd frens. n turn out to be betrayal n backstabbers.wad's wit her. fUg oFf..! onceee u took my life happily n nw u turn out to be regrettin bout it. tt's wad u deserve lor. i dun kaire wad's wit ya . hopee u'll shoo off away frm my lifee...u make my lifee miserable de dae i knew u. so dun cm to NYP seeing u. it's likee seeing some1 dat owns me a big lifetime. though i knw u've suffered enuff. n so wad? stop actin pityful. i hatee it. no one ever pity me. so do u nd some1. my lifee was spoiled by u durin my sec sch daze i hab to livee it alone, frens disappear. all wit ya. thanx to ya i mean. i've learnt to be more independent n my vision is clearer, spotting truee frenz is easier n i m living my life so fufiling n great. u wanna come into nursing ? n tat's ur fuggin prob. y stick to de same course as me.SHUCKS! plsss lor i dun wanna see ur face. such a copycat! no wonder u scold shirley hatee it wen u scold my FREN!tt's wad frens lor. hiya..dey're my truee frens. unlike u blame stuffies at every1 wen u nv even thk bout it the root of de prob ISH U!....


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9:51 AM


Friday, October 15, 2004

she's missin. MIA = missin in action...tat lil ger. recently her pix r all over the newspaper. she's like onli age 8. soo sad. can any1 pls look out fer her. hopee she'll be back. met her b4. came my hse n played too. she's so bubbly. how wuld such a ger go missin. it's soo impossible. did any1 catch her or somethin. haIz.. y r pp out dere so evil. evil hearts! so if any1 seen her or something pls contact me ya ? plss help de poor mum.


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4:28 PM



m here to finish my essay.....my essay finally reached 1200 words n above. feeling kinda sad. this feeling is so weird..i could hardly xplain out wit words. in my life i've did lotsa of things tat i've regretted. there's likee one particular thing tat i will nv forget n will regret fer life. i knw it's too late.. but i jux can't help it but feel sad n down at times wen i'm reminded of it. it's so miserable. n pain. eventually my heart aches alot. anyway had tis bio lesson n recently we studied tis cells thingy. bout those genes i mean...it's like, fer e.g if ur mum is colorblind most prob de children will kanna....it's like we're under our parents inheritance . y mux our health be under controlled by dem ? isn't it soooooo unfair ? it's our life wad.. hAIz life is jux soo unfair. some pp r fated to live wit 100 yrs of life n some 20 yrs ? life is unpredictable. no one can predict who will die. alwaes rmb to treasure de ones u lurvee n nv hab any regrets. dun be shy to express ur lurve to dem. it hurts de most wen u nv can express ur lurve to dat person. i can't understand wad's the world's like? y mux there be deaths? y can't every1 live foreva fer eternity? no pain, no sufferings. nothing. isn't it great ? sufferings r realli hell! like those third world children. with no tvs,not enuff of food, no clothes n wadeva....n here we r happily living knwing n hack caring bout their life. i mean ish this wad we humans r ? is dere any humanity inside ? heard tat sg'reans r a bunch of kind hearted souls. yeaa mayb, mayb nt.. but it's like so wad? if they're kind n brave the guy in westmall wuld be hacked to death w/o any1 comin to his aid. he wuld'nt hab die lar. a handful of sg'reans r kinda...shitty. i dunno lar...wadeva..mayb i'm in depression n unconscious mode. tt's y i'm speakin some kind of rubbish here.


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1:08 AM


Monday, October 11, 2004

"Welcome To My Life"
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
but no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
Well deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like [x2]

Welcome to my life [x3]


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11:32 PM



grRrrr...oMG! i haven been touchin my bio! wad's de fugin wrong wit me ? n y mux i alwaes anyhow let my tuts run wild! i jux nd to concentrate on wad's impt currently. i nd to knock some senses into my head. beaaeeeaaa..!! aWw... had my practical test todaze, i supposed i did quite well as tis is wad de teacher had commented. my she is kind of a pain in my ass...she keep askin qns non-stop. i've been like in de room for 1/2 hr and my frends who started excatly de same time as me left earlier den me! anyway i suppose she wanted to DIG out more ans frm me so i'll gain higher marks ? wadeva...! damit ! it's gd to act ignorant in some cases....u wun understand this sentence unless u r me! hahaa dun try guessin wad i wanna sae...alritee...todaze has been quite a day fer me, i hope to rush finish my eng essay which nd to consists of 1000+ words and my communication essay fer 1200 words on wed lastest ? i WANNA START BIO! tt' sucky module! hab to slog fer 3 more weeks n my exams is OVER! SLOGGED like a bull and get great results by den i wun regret it! dun do things tat u gonna regret..tt's kinda bad..but sometimes in lifeeee...we hab to sacrifice some of our desires and wonders sooo that we wun be distracted and hurt eventually. i suppose no one understand. n tt's de idea fer me to write in such stupid manner n standard of eng....it's nt meant fer any1 to understand! lol...bleaaah! i MUX PROMISE IN TIS BLOG TAT AFT MY ESSAYS I HAB TO SLOG!!! for my lamEST bio!


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11:11 PM


Saturday, October 09, 2004

c'mon lar isn't it obvious tat we wanna celebrate ur bdae...i feel utterly upset n disappointed by u. u din knw i've been thking fer de past few mths wad present to gif u .i din wanna mention. i hatee it i hatee it wen u treat ur NEw frens betta den us. so are we so comparable wit dem... tis is de signal u gave me. u wanna push us away. u wanna do tis. ure words r contradicting n hard to blif. i wanna blif tat u wanted to study, but it isn't de truth dat i heard ... 4 yrs of frenship n tat's wad u thk....u thk we din wanted to celebrate wit ya n all we wan is to see that shitty euphoria concernt. i m SAD , vERY sAD!


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1:30 AM


Thursday, October 07, 2004

y did my heART bEAt fAStEr whEnEvA i sEe u ....??sTop bEing cheEKy to mE iT maKes me sICk!!


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1:38 AM


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

dun thk i'm a slacker, havin de time to writeee my blog. i'm jux forking out a tiny weeny bit of my time writing tis...i'm feelin de heat...de craze of tests , exams, ICAs all cramping up together. i'm gettin tis persistent headache now.. shucks ...it's nt great...! i bet every1 is feelin so sick studyin n studyin likee mad soo to be promoted to yr2, n of cuz nt hopin to retain another 1/2 mth studyin fer dat particular module. tt's suxky! i dun realli hab much timee now! my 4 exams r comin soon which is gonna be in 3 weeks time.. i hab to pia finish my BIO ! n tt's exceptionally diff...as...i did mentioned in my other postings...k plssss... save me ? mayb u pp out dere got some tips of " How to keep urself awake when studyin bio?" tag n inform me ya...i'll be reali grateful. ; /


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10:41 PM


Saturday, October 02, 2004

eXams r reachin sooon in no time... dere's 1 more mth fer me to revise everything..gonna werk hard n strive fer good results. ystd , b.a.d , anson hu and tension came to our sch fer a bball match. it's fun seeing them playin esp seeing tension , john. he's cutee..took some pix. and tt's realli diff, cuz dey keep moving n running about. i can't realli get some clear pix. anyway de whole thing end kinda late n i went out to eat wit my sec fren at lot one.
todaze i rot the whole dae at home. slping fer long hrs. now feeling energise. studyin bio was kinda diff..mayb the book got air-borne virus. virus of getting to slp easily. aWww...!! mux plan my time well n finish de topics in time fer my bio! wish me all de best...;)


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